11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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