you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
