He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am spending my child support on dildos
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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