You can't motorboat a personality
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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