It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
