i would punch a child for taco bell
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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