? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
