I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
