she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
