we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I AM VODKA MAN
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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