So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
