you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
