Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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