Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
