Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
