We're facebook friends in real life
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize