at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
