it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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