my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wear drunk well.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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