did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
