i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
