Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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