Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
