i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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