dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
