I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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