i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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