I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
