he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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