in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
