I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
