...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
