Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
