I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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