I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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