piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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