i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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