They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have already put on my inside pants.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
