In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Watching her eat just hurts me
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
