And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
