i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
