we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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