I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
