That's intense
i permit you to call me
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
