He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
