Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
