Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
