we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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