I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
