True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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