u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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